Hey guys. Just letting you know that I may not be around for a while (although I'm trying to keep myself busy so you never know). My mum was rushed to hospital yesterday morning. She'd been diagnosed with acute gastritis on Wednesday and though she seemed to be improving a little she suddenly felt terrible yesterday. She was taken by ambulance to hospital but got worse along the way. She was unconscious by the time she arrived. She was put into a medically induced coma and once they got her stablised they did a scan. They operated and found that her bowel had perforated. They did everything they could but her organs had started to fail. She died at 4:37pm. She was only 69. I'm feeling so lost. I want to be there for my dad and brother and feel guilty because I don't know how. Every time I stop and think about it I start to cry. I've dealt with loss before but never like this. Never so close. Everywhere I look I see her things.
Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad!
It will get easier, it honestly will, though I know you don't see it right now.
Don't feel any guilt at all, everybody takes things differently. But stick by your family, you'll all need each other. When my mum was so ill and almost died, my brother just hid his head in the sand and left me to it. I've never forgotten that.
I'm not even going to try to imagine what you're going through right now. Just be sure to keep the remainder of your family & your real friends close, while letting what has to come out, come out. Don't be afraid of your feelings: you're going to miss her & that's a perfectly normal thing. Don't let anybody tell you otherwise!!! It's YOUR grief & you have to deal with it in YOUR way. Those who truly care will understand.
*hugs* I'm so sorry this happened Magick. I honestly can't imagine anything worse. You ever need to talk to someone just message me either here or on facebook. I'm here if you need to rant, cry, just talk about anything. Don't feel guilty over this. There's nothing for you to be guilty over, it's just a horrible set of circumstances.
*lots of hugs* There is really no need to feel guilty because there is no one to blame. And like others said, process it with the ones close to you. That could be family but also close friends or your favourite horse.